2006-07-07 / Sam Bari

Celebrity weight-loss secrets revealed

By Sam Bari

I've noticed something odd about celebrities. They often talk about diets and diet plans, and how much they value their personal trainers. I've even heard a few say that they eat whatever they want because they work out so much that they burn off excess calories through exercise.

Now, when I say celebrities, I'm not talking about athletes; they fall into a different category. I'm talking about the beautiful people. You know the ones - actors, models, musicians, vocalists and other entertainers, the people whose living often depends on their appearance, sex appeal, and overall good looks.

As much as they talk about diets and eating habits, I think it is odd that pictures of celebrities actually eating are rare. It seems as if there is an unwritten rule that applies only to the beautiful people, something akin to an 11th commandment that says, "Thou shalt not be photographed consuming food."

Really - think about it. When is the last time you saw a picture of one of those drop-dead beautiful models putting so much as a morsel of real food into her mouth? I've searched the tabloids, magazines, newspapers, and the Internet and found a serious void in photographs of celebrities eating. Thousands of pictures are available of celebrities partying, dancing in clubs, and even holding drinks in their hand, but not much of anything passing their lips other than words.

There's even a celebrity-diet channel on television, and if you Google "Celebrity Diets," 1,700,000 Web sites are listed. The diets range from Atkins to Wu-long tea, with the South Beach, Mediterranean, and Sonoma diets in between, all of which probably work to some degree, depending on the person following them. The point is, celebrities have been keeping the real secret about their diets under wraps for some time.

The secret is - they don't eat much. Gasp! Surprise! Surprise! What a concept, huh? And to think, I had this epiphany after months of doing research searching for pictures of celebrities eating while I sat at a local cafe wolfing down my daily Whoopie Pie with hot chocolate and whipped cream.

I sacrificed my body to bring you this long-awaited news.

Now I know all the mothers out there who claim that Hollywood sets unrealistic standards for their little porkers who "need" at least two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on white bread for lunch to sustain life are going to dispute my findings.

Nonetheless, it is apparently true. The secret to a celebrity diet is not earth shattering. As disappointing as it may be, the secret is rather simple - little intake, and high output. In other words, eat little and exercise a lot. My guess is that people who think Hollywood beauty standards are unrealistic would be in a real dilemma if an abundance of photographs of slender celebrities eating pizzas, cakes, and pies were readily available.

I also find it amazing that people are quick to condemn or follow the lead if a celebrity does something irrational, like overindulge in alcohol or drugs. But nobody gives so much as a word of praise for the dedication it takes to stay in the phenomenal shape that keeps those bodies in camera-ready condition.

It's part of that system I just can't understand.

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