2009-02-26 / Sam Bari

And we are up and running

You can't beat a system you can't understand
By Sam Bari

The year is not yet 60 days old and it is speeding by like a runaway freight train. In less than two months, we have accomplished a lot. The country has experienced an inauguration, the Super Bowl, Valentine's Day, and the Academy Awards. Thankfully, all were successfully staged without incident.

The events delivered the fanfare, ritual, romance and excitement associated with their predecessors. And, if the successes of the aforementioned events are indicative of our mettle, the future holds promise despite the challenges that confront us. The American people have a well-established reputation for overcoming difficulty, and when faced with the impossible, we sometimes take a bit longer, but we eventually prevail.

So, that brings us to this empty time of the year. Between now and Easter not much is happening. We can enjoy a small respite from the hustle, bustle and combustion created by the demanding schedule imposed on us in January and February.

We will breeze through March and prepare for the coming of the bunny when we can welcome spring, and ultimately the lazy days of summer. Relief from the relentless, bitter cold months of winter is but weeks away.

Oh yes . . . there is one small thing I forgot to mention, and I suppose we should address the topic right away, and get past it as best we can. You know what I'm talking about. I know you do . . . the resolutions. Remember?

We talked about our resolutions at the beginning of the year. Seems like only yesterday, doesn't it? Well . . . it wasn't. The beginning of the year was close to eight weeks ago. Now you know what that means. It means that those of us who made New Year's resolutions should be realizing some success by now.

Those of you who resolved to be more organized, more efficient, and nicer people can jump to the front of the class and bask in the glory of your wimpy successes. The brave, the bold and courageous, who resolved to stop smoking, lose weight, or get in fabulous shape, will be happy to proudly announce their astounding progress . . . or not.

Admittedly, the challenges were formidable. Every event of the last two months involved a serious party, which meant copious amounts of food, late nights, and situations that fostered the indulgences we resolved to harness and overcome. Those who quit smoking: congratulations. You did it during a most challenging season.

The next two categories involve the most searched subjects on the Internet, diets and exercise. Tackling weight loss and initiating an exercise program during the party season is, at best, difficult. For most of us, let's face it, success is impossible.

That means we will take a little longer. But we will not give up, will we?

Don't be too hard on yourself if you couldn't pass up the chicken wings, sausages, sandwiches, pies, desserts and frothy beverages at the Super Bowl parties. And, how could anybody not eat at an inauguration celebration? That would be un-American. We cannot have that.

Nobody would fault the recipient of an array of chocolates for sampling a few pieces that were received in a romantic setting on Valentine's Day. After all, one must show a little gratitude for their lover's thoughtfulness.

And who is going to point a finger at any Academy Award party guest for eating and drinking while watching those skinny stars on the high definition screen for nearly four hours? How could we not indulge and make merry while contemplating the wisdom of the political statements and self-righteous pontificating. Besides, the buffet was to die for, wouldn't you say?

Let's face it, the holidays were just a warm-up for this January and February. How many of you actually gained weight after New Year's Day? Go ahead, say it. I won't tell. I promise, I really do understand if the exercise equipment needs a little dusting off from lack of use.

And I won't say, "I told you not to resolve anything," but I did. I knew this was going to happen, and I did not want to be accused of failing.

Actually, failure to adhere to New Year's resolutions is an America tradition. And, we are Americans. We believe in tradition. If we failed to succeed at adhering to a New Year's resolution then we upheld an American tradition. Therefore, we were successful in an odd way.

How was that? Do you feel better now? I knew you would.

It's nice to know that you can rationalize anything when you live in a system you can't understand. That's what makes it work. So fellow couch potatoes, eat on. Life is short.

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