2011-12-22 / The Walrus Says

The Walrus Says


BY JIM MUNRO BY JIM MUNRO We caught up with Santa and Mrs. Claus as they were leaving the island recently after a pre-Christmas visit and gave me this exclusive interview:

Walrus: Where are you two going from here?

Santa: We have to head back to the North Pole. The elves are straight out this time of year.

Walrus: Does Mrs. Claus always travel with you?

Santa: Well, not on Christmas Eve, because the sleigh is too full. She enjoys this trip, though, because she loves the island and the people. But usually she’s busy advising the elves on girl stuff and reading the emails.

Walrus: Have you been able to keep up with all the requests?

Santa: With the rapidly growing population we’ve had to farm out some of the work to businesses down here in the states and they, in turn, sent some of it to China and India. We send our elves to those countries for quality control so the items are as well made as our own at the Pole.

Walrus: Do you have any immediate concerns for the new year?

Santa: If, as reported, the government imposes a law prohibiting the use of my cell phone while I’m flying I won’t be able to keep in touch with Mrs. Claus and the elves. It’s bad enough now with the seat belt. Having to buckle and unbuckle it getting in and out of the sleigh has really slowed me down. Suppose next they decide Rudolph’s nose is not bright enough. Then what?

Walrus: Thanks, Santa, hopefully some common sense will prevail. You and Mrs. Claus have a merry Christmas.

Santa: You too, Walrus, my best to Mrs. Walrus. See you Christmas Eve.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

***

While we are enjoying the Christmas season, other household members may see it as an opportunity for mischief. Dr. Joshua Hatch at the Jamestown Animal Clinic offers these tips to keep your quadrupeds out of harm’s way.

“The majority of the problems animal clinics see around the holidays involve our pets getting into things they shouldn’t. Cats eating tinsel from the tree or chewing on wires, and dogs eating the holiday ham or getting into the trash the day after a party, are problems preventable with a few simple steps. First, avoid the temptation; keep ornaments, candles, and lights where pets can’t reach them, or just skip the tinsel and yarn entirely so there is no chance your pet will chew or swallow them. Second, keep food and garbage well out of a pet’s way and promptly take out any trash, put away any leftovers, and don’t trust Fido not to jump up on the table or the counter when your back is turned. Finally, despite this being a season of giving, make sure your house guests know not to feed any table scraps or people food to your animals, no matter how sad the puppy-dog eyes.”

Woof!

***

Sarah Farrelly, 15, for Christmas would like to travel to Peru to see the Nazca Lines.

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In a celebration of the lives of pets that passed away during the past year, island artist Jillian Barber has created a memory walk wall at the Jamestown library on which islanders are invited to pin pictures of their deceased quadruped companions. Jillian said that nine dogs including her dog, Bette, with West Ferry ties, have passed on this year. The others are Clancy, Blossom, Denny, Yoda, Zorro, Cosmo, Monty and Buddy. On a bright note, Jillian said she has a new 9-month-old puppy named Dalai and there are three additional new dogs in her neighborhood. “There’s a whole new generation of dogs on the block,” she said.

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Isabelle Evans, 8 months, is going to get diapers for Christmas. *** The Jamestown library’s music program starts back up on Sunday, Jan. 8, from 3 to 4:30 p.m. with great oldies from The Elderly Brothers.

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Kayla Rafferty, 10, would like a stuffed animal dog for Christmas.

***

Jane Bentley and Barbara-Ann MacIntosh both say the Dec. 8 poser was from “Dream a Little Dream of Me.”

Elizabeth Mancini and Carrie Nelson checked in with last week’s poser. Carrie wrote, “It is from ‘Drift Away’ sung by Dobie Gray, who passed away on Dec. 7, and covered by Uncle Kracker (with Dobie) in 2003. It was one of my favorite songs when I was a little girl and I still love it today.”

Oh, give me the beat boys, and free my soul,

I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away,

Yeah, give me the beat boys, and free my soul,

I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away.

***

Justice Conner, 6, would like a dolly from Santa.

***

We note that the town has awarded a $111,775 contract with taxpayer funds to coordinate the ongoing wind energy studies. We thought the turbine was supposed to save us money.

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Bridget Toland, 8, is hoping for a stuffed animal horse on Christmas.

***

So, the war in Iraq is over. Did anyone think to notify al-Qaeda?

***

Poser:

They say there’s nothing to,

The dreaming I do,

But they don’t know how sweet it is,

To dream about you.

***

Merry Christmas!

***

Be true!

***

Call in your stuff to 829-2760 or 423-0383, or email me at jtnwal rus@hotmail.com. Thank you.

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